you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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