Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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