haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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