I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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