I need help removing her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
