So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
