A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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