worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
