sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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