I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
