There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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