I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
