I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
