how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
