Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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