I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
