That's intense
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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