Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i permit you to call me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
