I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
