You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
