having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
