His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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