laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
then he tried to convert me to islam
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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