we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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