thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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