I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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