Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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