bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
