We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
