What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
