Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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