When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
