no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
soo... how was my night?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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