I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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