where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
