I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The police scanner is talking about you again....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
