Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
