seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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