I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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