I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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