my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We are two peas in an std pod
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
