from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
