Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
