Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
