Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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