It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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