Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
third nipple confirmed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
