I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
