I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
