remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
