Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
