Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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