Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
