garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
