i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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