With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
