You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize