She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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