just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
