Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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