How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
