there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
