It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
