Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How external is "for external use only"?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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