It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
