Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
