I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
