some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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