I want to stick my p in your. b.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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